Earlier on this blog, I talked about how God transforms the desires of our hearts as we delight in Him. But what about the good desires? Do these need be transformed as well?
Psalm 27:4 talks about the “desire of my heart.” What does that really mean? According to my concordance, the word desire comes from a word that indicates an asking. The desires of our hearts are the deep prayers from the core of who we are.
For me, marriage is one of those desires, one of those deep prayers. My dream job has always been to be a wife and mother.
As I’ve prayed through the desires of my heart, this one has come up a lot. Since my time of singleness has lasted for years more than I planned, I’ve wondered if I need to give up my dream of marriage and motherhood? I’ve struggled with this question as I’ve sought God.
God knows what I want. Getting my way won’t satisfy my heart’s desire if it’s not what God wants. Instead of laying my life plans before God and asking Him to bless them, I have to say, “God, You know what I desire and You also know what is best for me. Your plans and ways are far better than even the “good” plans that I have come up with. Have Your way.”
I’ve learned to surrender my plans, prayers, and desires to God. And as I surrendered, I realized that my desire to be married was no longer in first place. With the gentleness of One Who is Love, God taught my heart to desire and seek Him more than earthly romance. I’ve found that contentment even when not seeing the answer to this prayer comes when I trust His will in my life and allow Him to fill my heart.
You’re probably thinking at this point, “Wait, you don’t want to get married anymore? Why would anyone want to turn the desires of her heart to God if He takes them all away?”
Those are good questions. Here is my reply: God didn’t take away the desire for marriage. In some ways, I think He intensified it. The surrendering put this deep and earnest prayer is in its proper place: offered to God with open hands – hands that are ready to receive whatever He gives.
Now, my heart desires to serve my Lord with all my life, even if it means being single all my life. For however long I am single, He has plans for me to serve Him in ways that give more satisfaction and fulfillment than a contrived marriage ever could. This is God’s will for me now. I want to lean into Him to see all that He has planned for me now in this unique season of my life.
Maybe God’s plan for me isn’t marriage; it’s still the prayer of my heart. But in allowing Christ to be first place in my heart, I allow God to bring me the man He has chosen for me in His time and His way. Christ still will have all my life, whether married or single.
God hasn’t taken away this prayer of my heart; He’s refined it and made it into what it ought to be. I’ve found that this deep desire of my heart is most fully answered when it allows God’s will to be done.
What about you? What are the deep prayers of your heart? Have you surrendered them to God? Are you learning to lean into the Savior who created those desires?